Flash mob psychology

Edit: This post is a rather old, I just found it in my post list and noticed I had forgotten to publish it.

Just "witnessed" a flashmob at Stockholm Central. And by "witnessed" I mean it failed mierably. The wierd thing is that I knew it would fail and I was only there because I was on the way to work anyway. So why did it fail?

Well... several reasons... lets just go over the basics of this flashmob in particular, here is the instructions(translated from Swedish):

"Stomp Flash Mob

Create confusion and joy in the morning stress! Wednesday December the 3:d, Morgonpasset arranges their very own flash mob in central stations all over the country. At exactly 08:10 we will start clapping or stomping the rhythm in the morning rush. Let us make this morning into an unforgettable experience!"

OK, what was the problem?

• Vagueness 1 - "Exactly 08:10" sounds pretty exact, but it is not. Everyone has their own watch (or cell phone or sun dial or whatever). Had they said "Exactly 08:10 according to the central station clock" there would be no doubt. And most of all: there would be no doubt in anyone's mind that everyone else knew the correct time to start.
• Vagueness 2 - "start clapping or stomping the rhythm". Stomp or clap? And to what rhythm? As it was called a Stomp Flash Mob I'd suggest skipping the clapping. And as for the rhythm, either make sure a clear rhythm is present or state that the goal is a single stomp.
• Time - The mob was announced (I base this on the Facebook wall post dates) just 9 or 10 days before it was supposed to occurr. Too little time for it to obtain a large following.
• "Shyness" - All the unceritanty in the flash mob definition above creates an unceirtanty in the potential participants. "Will I be the only one?". This will make people wait just a second extra in fear of looking like a fool. The "Will I be the only one?" question is one of the features of a flash mob that makes it exiting and interesting, but if the doubt is too large, it will just fail miserably.

Thank you Mr. David Nana

Ah Nigeria letters... or actually a Ghana letter... today I got my first one over Skype:

"Hello Bjarne,

I am Mr. David Nana, a reputable banker here in Accra, and I have in my bank the existence of a big amount that belongs to a deceased customer, named; Mr. Samedy Bjarne, a citizen of your country,
This amount is now in my bank without any claim because the deceased died in a deadly earthquake in china 2008, and left nobody for the claim

So I hereby request your assistance to receive this fund into your account as the beneficiary hence you bear same surname to the deceased
Please kindly send me your reply of interest to my private email address (david.nana05@hotmail.com)

As soon as I received your respond to my private email address, I will give you more details on how the transfer will be successful.

I am not a greedy person, so I am suggesting we share the funds equal, which is 50%/50% to both parties,

I wait for your response direct to my private email… We shall go over the details once I receive your urgent response in my private email address.
Best Regards

Mr David"

He is reputable, not greedy, wants me to reply to his hotmail, thinks my last name is Bjarne(It is my first name) and wants to give me a "big amount" of money, not because I am related to this deceased person, but because I have the same (first) name as his (last) name.

I love this. I love that a single person in the world would fall for this. It makes the world a more interesting place to live. When I win that super-duper-big-as-bonkers lottery: I will set aside a few million bux and send out a genuine version. The first one who replies gets an insane amount without any hassle. Or maybe it would be more fun to actually demand the "initial small deposit to cover transfer fees" and then wait a week and then dump a mountain of cash on them.

Thank you Mr David, I love you a little.

Moral meat eaters are bastards

...they only eat pigs that are treated ethically, so called "happy pigs".

I'm OK with eating miserable pigs. I'm like a professional euthanasia doctor, happily killing "unhappy pigs" left and right.

Except I get paid in bacon.

Writing my ass...

In my last post I said I'd start writing again. That was a few month ago. Damn I suck.

Back to writing?

I feel the need to write here again. I can not say why really, except that I'm in kind of a weird state right now.
I'm totally aware that nobody reads my rants here so I could just as well write it down on a local text file on my computer... but for some reason I don't. The logical reason is, I guess, that I want someone to read it. Perhaps even to understand it. But logic is not my strongest ally right now.
My head is swarming with unsorted static and I can't really trust myself. I think one thing, hear a song and suddenly think the opposite.
So right now I should probably stop writing before I write something stupid(-er than usual).

SMS christmas greetings?

Nothing says "I really don't care enough to send a greeting card" like a Christmas/new year greeting per SMS. Does it? OK, the ones that are actually sent to you are nice, but the ones that are really generic and you know they are a standard SMS sent to most of the people in the phonebook are not. If you want to fake caring: either fake it good or think a minute why you are sending it at all. And no: I don't send them... I don't send postcards either... but it's not because I don't care. Or wait a minute... actually I send the exact same amount of postcards/SMS:es to the people I care about as the ones I don't care about.

Damn it.

OK... a premature new years resolution just became apparent: I'll be better at keeping touch with the ones I do care about. But I sure as hell won't do it by sending generic SMS:es.

Damn skippy.

Balance

I know this i oh so very petty, but I can not resist. Does people have really bad balance? An goldfish memory? Weak legs? No? Then why does people in general fall over in the subway all the time? OK, not fall over, but: any time the train changes speed, direction or elevation: almost anyone that is standing looks like a drunk drunk. And they are holding the bars! I stand in the middle holding no bars and I never loose my balance (yes, sure I have, but that's mostly when the driver panic brakes for some unseen reason).

It's really easy:

1. When the train leaves the station: It will accelerate, generating a feeling of being pulled towards the back of the train.
2. When the train enters the station: It will decelerate, generating a feeling of being pulled towards the front of the train.
3. When the train turns: It will generate a feeling of being pulled towards the side opposite the turn. Once you take a subway line a few times (like every day to work and every day back home), you will notice it often turns at the same places. I think it has something to do with railway tracks being heavy and bolted to the ground. That a lot of them go through tunnels through solid rock may also add to this rater predictable behaviour.
   

Sorry, I had to get it off my back.

Domestic rock'n roll services

I never win anything... usually because I never enter any competitions... usually because they are stupid. But last night I actually entered a competition and won!
So today a rock band came to my apartment and did my dishes.

No: really... A Sudden Burst Of Optimism did my dishes :)

And yes: it may be one of the most stupid competitions ever. But stupid in a fun and creative way. That's the kind of stupid I like.

If you don't know who A Sudden Burst Of Optimism are; you should check them out. Great songs, and a ton of happy-vibes in their live sets. Some songs and videos are available online on their Myspace page.

I should be sick more often

This is what I had to work with when I got back from a weeks sickness today (click the image to enlarge).
I felt something was just a bit skewed when I tried to write my password (it's ********* b.t.w.)... Then It hit me: Waaaait a minute! That line does NOT read "QWERTY" :)
Considering the people I work with, having your keyboard rearranged like this is not a bad thing. I loved it. It kick started my day after a week of snot, fever and coughing with a great big smile. Thanks guys :D

How many words can you find that is usually not on a QWERTY keyboard?

Facebook is...

Recently there has been an uproar in the news (and in a funny way if you appreciate irony: on Facebook) about the Facebook terms of use.
First of all: you did check the "Yes, I read the terms of use" box, did you not? Should we not have a headline that reads "Millions of users lies to Facebook"? Sure: I did not read it. I did not read it after the news got upset either. And I will probably never read it. And while I'm at it: I can say with a fair amount of certainty that I will never read ANY terms of use-text for any product or service. Ever. For one simple reason: I'm pretty certain they all say the same thing: "You are screwed, we will screw you even more, and by checking that box, you just pulled down your pants and bent over".
But I'm fine with that. As long as they provide a service that makes up for it.

But here is the real problem. That people think that they can control information that they place on the Internet.

I go all The Scream-faced when I realize people are actually surprised that they have lost control over their data when they upload data to Facebook (or any other place on the Internet). Grow up and pause to think for 5 seconds before you upload that funny picture of your friend passed out drunk, smeared in ketchup with his wiener hanging out, freshly painted with a permanent marker. Often you will realize that it may be funny, but not "ha ha"-funny

And if you think "I can just remove it and it will be gone": Say hello to the Wayback Machine.